Karl Rove's Hail Mary Pass

Ed Naha: 'Rove's 'Hail Mary' pass'Posted on Monday, October 18 @ 10:22:35 EDT
By Ed NahaWithin hours of the President's losing his third consecutive debate to Senator John Kerry, Lynne Cheney and right-wing pundits ripped their Karl Rove emergency playbooks from their walls ("In Case of Total Failure: Break Glass and Start Gasbagging") and hit the airwaves, twittering about the horrible scandal surrounding the debate. Was it Bush's lying about the economy? His sense of surreal detachment from events in Iraq? His answering every other question with some verbal stew concerning the failed "No Child Left Behind" mandate? His incessant blinking and fondness for bubbles of spit?No. It was Kerry mentioning that Mary Cheney, Lynne and Dick's daughter, is a lesbian. Lynne was transformed into an "indignant mom." Cuddly Dick became an "angry father." (The fact that Dick refers to his "gay daughter" on the stump when trying to put a human face on the semi-moribund "compassionate conservative" shtick is beside the fact.)Before you could say "close the closet," Bush's debate debacle, his blatant untruths regarding every topic he tackled for an hour and a half, was forgotten. The new hot non-issue? KERRY? THEM THAR'S FIGHTIN' WORDS! YOU'VE CROSSED THE LINE, YOU CAD!Lynne went to the top of the indignation charts immediately, saying: "I did have a chance to assess John Kerry once more. And the only thing I could conclude is this is not a good man. And I am speaking as a mom and a pretty indignant mom. This is not a good man. What a cheap and tawdry political trick."Cheap and tawdry. Hmmm. Nice choice of words, Mom.Later, Dick, said that Kerry's remark showed him to be "a man who will say anything and do anything in order to get elected."(And who better to recognize this trait than Mr. "Saddam + 9/11 = Iraq War?")"And I am not speaking just as a father here, though I am a pretty angry father, but as a citizen," he said with a pseudo snarl.With Lynne still number one on the indignation charts, Dick shot to the top of the angry Hot 100. Jockeying for position behind him, were the right-wing whirling dervish pundits, all accusing Kerry of "outing" Mary Cheney. On FOX, Morton M. Kondracke condemned Kerry for "outing Dick Cheney's lesbian daughter."Rush Limbaugh stated that Kerry violated Mary's privacy. "He saw fit to out her to people who don't know (she is gay)." (Apparently FOX viewers and Limbaugh listeners, exclusively.)Even "The Wall Street Journal" editorialized: "By outing Mary Cheney before millions of viewers on prime-time television, Messrs. Kerry and Edwards may hope to score points with their base of gay activists."The White House weighed in with little Scotty McClellan saying his Boss "does not believe it was appropriate."McClellan continued: "I cannot think of a single instance where a presidential candidate has talked about his opponent's child in such a way." (How about a vice-presidential debate when both candidates talked about the issue and Cheney wound up thanking Edwards for his kind remarks? Ooops. Let's crank up that reality disconnect machine, quick, Scotty! Oooh. Ahhh. Feels sooo good.)Wolf, Chris, Paula and the rest of the ambulance chasers all got into the spirit of the outrage, too, offering incisive commentary on the non-issue, covering all the angles from A to A. I was half expecting someone to bring out their childhood "invisible friend" to weigh in.On a certain level, you have to appreciate this great display of political theater. It's total bullshit, of course, but entertaining in its own primitive way. I haven't seen this much misplaced outrage since Nixon's "I am not a crook" speech (and we all know how that turned out). Several polls showed that two-thirds of American voters thought Kerry had taken a "cheap shot," thanks to the hysteria generated on this Great Non-Issue.Just how cheap a shot was it?During the debate, moderator Bob Schieffer asked the candidates: "Do you believe homosexuality is a choice?"Bush initially responded with the unintentionally honest. "I just don't know."Kerry's response: "We're all God's children, Bob. And I think if you were to talk to Dick Cheney's daughter, who is a lesbian, she would tell you she's being who she was; she's being who she was born as. I think if you talked to anybody, it's not (a) choice."OH, YOU BASTARD! HOW COULD YOU SAY…wait a minute. You actually answered the question. And you humanized the answer.Now, as anyone with the use of their thumbs (sorry FOX viewers, adios Rushies) and the ability to read a newspaper knows, Mary Cheney has been out of the proverbial closet for years. She currently works on her father's campaign, as she did in 2000. In 2002 she was a gay GOP stalking horse, trying to entice gay voters into supporting Republican mid-term candidates. Prior to that she was the Coors beer company's liaison to gays and lesbians.CURSE YOU, JOHN KERRY for invading this woman's PUBLIC PERSONA as a GAY REPUBLICAN when…uh…Republicans regularly, uh, voice their disdain and disgust for, uh, well, gays.To quote the learned pundit Bugs Bunny: "So, what's all the hub-bub, bub?"Pat Buchanan had the most interesting take on it, saying that Edwards got a pass calling Mary "gay" because he used the world "gay." "…but when you do it a second time in a presidential debate and use the cold, hard word 'lesbian,' which really is offensive…this is deliberate. This is cold….It's like finding a conservative who's a right-to-lifer and going on television and saying, 'I'm sorry, my friend's daughter had an abortion.' You don't do that."I'm sure there is logic in that statement but my dousing rod is in the shop.While all the histrionics may be impressing those who find "Will and Grace" cutting edge, it's not playing too well in the gay community.“The outrage from those folks outside the Cheney family -- the Bush operatives -- that outrage ought to be directed toward the Bush campaign, which has used anti-gay tactics in an attempt to win this election,” said Christopher Barron, political director for the Log Cabin Republicans, a Republican gay-rights group.The group's executive director, Patrick Guerriero, claimed that Cheney and company were "feigning outrage."“The big story in this election is that Karl Rove has decided to strategically use gay and lesbian Americans in a number of swing states,” Guerriero said.“The same people who are feigning outrage about what happened in the debate should speak out against that type of political gamesmanship.”A leading advocacy group for gay marriages, the Human Rights Campaign, said Bush, by waffling on his debate question, had missed an opportunity to denounce discrimination against gays, and so the Cheneys had picked the wrong target for criticism.It noted Cheney’s previous comments about his daughter and said: “It is not surprising that senator Kerry mentioned her experience as emblematic of millions of gay Americans.”Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays said that in bringing up Mary Cheney, "Kerry expressed the human side of an issue that Bush has worked so hard to politicize to his advantage at the cost of families."Nancy Swartz, a TV producer and gay rights commentator, said in The Guardian: "The right are masters of turning people into political pawns. They invented it and now the Democrats are turning the tables. Kerry is being bold, strategically standing up for Mary, and the Republicans are shook up, that’s all."Perhaps Jane Czyzselska, editor of Diva, a UK magazine for lesbians and bisexual women summed up the reaction best, according to The Guardian: "A lot of the mainstream media are still scared witless of gays and lesbians, and this ridiculous display of horror at the mention of Mary Cheney - gasp - THE LESBIAN, just shows it," she said.I'd take it a step further. I think a lot of Republicans are ashamed of gays, some even ashamed at their own reaction to gays. Moderate Republicans are ashamed that they don't have the guts to stand up to Bush's low wattage evangelical approach to the gay rights issue. (Kinda like: hate the sin, love the sinner, KnowhutIMean? And about that Constitutional Amendment?) And true believers know that these twisted perverts are doomed to Hell, anyhow, so why can't they just bash a few to while away the time until The Second Coming? Heck, there's hardly anything good on cable.BUT WHAT ABOUT THAT EVIL JOHN KERRY? (Why, right now, he's probably growing a handlebar mustache just so he can twirl it at his next campaign stop while cackling "Nyah-ah-hah.") He offered his assessment of the brain-dead brouhaha on CNN Friday. "It (his statement) was meant constructively in terms of their love and affection for a person who is who she is. And it was entirely as an example of how people come together around these choices, entirely constructively and respectfully."OH, YOU VILLAIN! YOU'LL RUE THE DAY YOU EXPRESSED YOURSELF SO HONESTLY!So, all you undecided voters out there? Forget the Iraq war! Ignore the deficit! Screw health care and social security and the lack of jobs! Put those blinders on and tackle the non-issues with the GOP. Join the flocks of Republicans blustering and swooning. For them? There's just something about Mary.